The Rusty Knife

One of the first things that I learned about the movie business is the high level of secrecy. From my initial conversation with producer Piers Tempest until now, I have been sworn to secrecy on pretty much everything about the film. To guarantee my silence, I was asked to sign a confidentiality agreement that has some serious repercussions: If I talk to anyone about certain details of the movie without prior permission, Piers is legally allowed to castrate me with a rusty knife.

Rusty Knife
The legal term is “rustius knivus”.

As you can probably imagine, I’m quite fond of my boys—and let’s be honest, so are the ladies—which is why I have kept so many things quiet during the past two years. Believe it or not, it has been a painful ordeal for me, filled with more lies and deception than all of my books combined.

Why? Because I am constantly bombarded by questions about the film. I get them from family and friends, readers and writers, and every single person who finds out about the movie. Don’t get me wrong: I understand their excitement. Heck, I'm excited!!! Truth be told, I would love to answer every question with the juiciest details possible, but the moment I signed that agreement, my priorities changed. I
have to protect my loins and future generations of Kuzneskis. That's the only reason my last movie blog was over a year ago. I'm simply not allowed to talk about stuff.

Thankfully, the project is chugging along, and it looks like we'll be making some major announcements in the not-too-distant future. Of course, that will set up a whole different set of questions that I probably won't be allowed to answer—why did you cast so and so? Where will you be filming? Will the plot be the same as the book's? But that's fine with me. If nothing else, it means we're one step closer to having a movie!